He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize