Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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