Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
