i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
