My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last time i carry you out of a forest
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
