no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
