WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
