god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
