But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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