I wish I could teleport
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize