you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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