Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
