dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
