My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize