Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
