My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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