well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
