It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize