God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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