Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
