He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
