Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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