got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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