Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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