You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
