everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
