awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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