I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
