A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
