You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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