I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it because I queefed?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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