We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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