I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
