he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
