Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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