Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
