If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
