she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
