he shaved USA in his pubs
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
