My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
