he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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