I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
