If i come over, it means nothing
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
