I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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