So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
