She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
