its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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