McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
