just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Come on in and take your pants off
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