Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
