I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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