wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize