P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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