i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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