something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
