why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
