Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need water and some morals
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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