I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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