If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
