i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
