I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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