Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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