I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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