mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
