i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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