FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize