oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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