names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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