I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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